Amateur Sketch

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Death of a Salesman.

I share this because it too seems appropriate.

"I run out of that building and I see...the sky. I see all the things I love in this world. The work, the food, the time to sit and smoke. And I look at this pen and I ask myself, "What the hell am I grabbing this thing for? Why am I trying to become something I don't wanna become when all I want is out there waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am?"

To my life partner and fellow dreamer...

My dear,

I am writing you a public love-letter because I think it might make you smile. I was never one to believe in love at first sight but after the fateful day of our "first" meeting, I think it just might be possible. Ms. Johnson, as worthless as she was, was the fated architect of much of my future happiness. As you awkwardly walked over to my table, I instantly recognized your face as the girl who got sent to Catholic school for kissing boys outside of our elementary school. Proud of you.

You asked for my phone number that very period...you were always very brave that way. You actually called (unlike many of the men who have floated in and out of our lives these last 7 years.) Instantly inseparable.

We've struggled over silliness. Recently, as I shared the mythology of our friendship, I recounted the story of those last months of high school and how our love matured into this unconditional force to be reckoned with. I am fiercely protective of you and you are the only person that knows exactly what I need to hear...I will never forget you researching flights just because you wanted to hold my hand.

You are my favorite traveling companion and my most enthusiastic audience. Many of my favorite memories involve you; as for those that don't, you are the first person I want to share them with.

We both are so desperately trying to understand love, constantly trying to reconcile good sense with letting go, being romantic without being impractical. I feel spontaneous when I am with you and I think you understand my need for order in chaos...at least more than most are willing to. You have taught me a lot about following my heart and doing the unthinkable (for a Capricorn like me) for love...

You would never make fun of my turquoise toes or love of old photographs. Your postcards decorate my room, truly the most pleasing art I have on my walls.

I wait impatiently for the day when the stars align so that we can share our daily lives. The last 5 years of email communication and once-a-year marathon trips are simply not enough. We talk about our plans...let's translate them into reality. For the first time in quite awhile, we are not bound to anything but realizing our passions.

I ask that you be as considerate with yourself as you are with me.

Be patient and let yourself heal.

Don't look back...you are FINALLY doing what is best for yourself.

I love you deeply and cannot wait for the lavender farm.