Monday, January 26, 2009

forgive me.

late night cigarettes and muscle relaxers that refuse to "kick in." can feel the weight of the past that is literally behind me. i can see an ex, whose face is illuminated by laptop light and venture a (prob. correct) guess at what he is reading. can hear friends laughing and moving on; she mentioned once that the "world goes on without you." like antarctica related sayings, this is the truth. 
an inhalation flashes a complete thought that i can no longer recall--something about foreign-familiar scents. you can still feel people even when they are no longer around. its a cardinal that visits every afternoon, a contact lens case with half-empty pools of saline, a long-forgotten/never-returned borrowed book. in this vein, songs are torturous; some make you kiss the sky, others must be changed upon hearing the first note. please don't ruin the Arcade Fire. 
who needs tattoos when you have relationships? there is no surgery to remove the marks/scars (?) that people leave behind. how long does it take to get over hope? 

1 comment:

Keaton Wilder said...

the porch had a couch, much like that of a therapist. we talked about forgiveness and your relentless optimism and faith in the redemptive quality of people, who are flawed and frail and ultimately, human.

please dont lose hope. the fact that you always look for the good in everyone and everything, which still inspires awe and envy in equal measure for me, is such a wonderful trait to possess. hope leads to faith which leads to all kinds of other things that can be magical and unexplainable.