bath time.

i saw your face today. 

fortunately, this time around, you have not haunted me. sure, you peek around corners but i have time to steel myself. turn the corner bravely. ready. 

but i saw your face today. 

i was soaking in a hot bath...you know I love those. 

we did, once. 

you used to laugh at me for letting the water run so hot that the skin on my ass stayed red for hours. 

you said my propensity toward soaking in epsom salts and getting lost in whatever book i was reading was one of your favorite things about me. 

you probably don't remember that. 

i do. 

i agree. 

i was washing my face, letting my hands form a cup, letting the water pool in my palms. as i was lifting this cup toward my face (damn menthol-infused cleanser burns my too-sensitive skin) i saw your reflection. 

it was the face you always made to make me laugh. not the angry one when you were feeling cruel, or the terrifying one when your eyes flashed and i knew the day would be a difficult one. its the mouth-slightly-agape, bright-eyes face--like you were about to sneeze and laugh and say "i love you" all at once. 

i loved that face. i took a picture of it once but it isn't the same. 

i was startled but i held my hands together and looked at you...funny how your image stuck around when you couldn't. 

i fought the urge to reposition my hands, freeing the cursed water that would do this to me during my supposed break from this kind of shit. instead, i held my hands together, i held my gaze. 

i get the metaphor of this. words like cleansing, etc. come to mind. 

but what sticks out most is the fact that i stared right fucking back. 

because i'm not scared. i'm tough as shit when it comes to you. i prepared like a good girl from florida always should...ready for the hurricane. 

so i kept staring because i know that i can no longer cower. 

then i splashed your image all over my face (something i let you do once in real life) and just like that...you were gone. 

my skin was clean (and no longer on fire.) 

and i sank back into the tub, noticed the backs of my legs, bottom of my feet and my ass were indeed red and i smiled.